So your friends finally convinced you to start online dating, and you feel like you've officially hit rock bottom. First, I just want to commend you for stepping out on faith and letting go of your comfort zone to meet new people, because Lord knows that is not easy.
Online dating can be fun, but it is all about approach, perception, and identity.
Falls under positivity and negativity. You will either approach online dating with a positive outlook or a negative mindset.
You will state something like:
"I don't even want to do this it's so dumb," (negative approach)
"All these guys will be hideous and have nothing to offer me," (negative approach)
"I can't wait to meet someone new so I can learn what type of guys mesh with my personality," (positive approach),
"I am really looking forward to connecting with someone who is down to earth," (positive approach).
I can't stress enough why it is important to have a positive approach before online dating. If you don't then you shouldn't even create the account. It will be a waste of time. Going into online dating being negative will only lead to a negative outcome. If you actually meet someone who could be potential, you will over look them because you went into the experience negatively.
Why are you online dating? Are you expecting to fall in love or just have fun? Before you even create the account you should have some sort of perception of what you want. It could be just exploring, or actually finding something serious. There have been so many success stories with online dating and yours could be one of them if you have the right approach.
I always tell people that expectations can lead to disappointment. If you are expecting to fall in love over the internet it is definitely risky. But that is what stepping out on faith is all about, taking a chance. It is normal to be afraid to open your heart to a random stranger online but it is the same concept of opening yourself to a random stranger at a bar. Yes, you see them in person but you still don't know their real situation. Either way you look at it, you are meeting someone for the first time and it will be risky whether it is online or in person. I'm sure you guys all saw the movie The Perfect Guy with Michael Ealy and Sanaa Lathan.
Know Your Identity
Who are you? Trying to find love online before finding yourself is a set up. Know who you are before seeking a partner. You will find yourself looking for traits that you don't even possess. Some people go searching for the perfect person and never find them, because the person they are searching for is in the mirror. Learn who you are before searching for traits online. Take our love language quiz below and really get to know who you are. Write down your traits of what you have to offer first. It will make a huge impact before online dating.
This is important because if you are not confident within yourself first you will meet a guy who will have the potential to break you mentally and emotionally. When you enter any relationship, date, or meeting, confidently, you are open to failure and being okay with it not working out. So they didn't call you or text back that's fine add them to the blocked list. So they said you weren't their type. That's fine, you already know you're beautiful so it's their loss. Never allow comments like that to affect you, you're poppin' so brush it off and keep it moving.
Dating comes with rejection so you have to be secure within yourself in order to dismiss it. Never take it personally. There is someone out there for everyone. Have a positive outlook, clear perception, and know your identity and you will be perfectly fine.
Watch the video below of my super amazing former coworkers at VH1 online dating using Tinder, Soul Swipe, and Bumble.
Share this post with someone who is considering online dating!