Love… arguably the most powerful four-letter word in the whole English language. A word so intimidating, that it has the ability to spark such a wide range of emotions for so many people: happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy - seriously, I can go on forever. However, instead of rambling on, I am going to look at love from a specific angle – the male perspective.
Now, I will be completely honest, love from my (the male) perspective is not something I have put much thought into in the past; actually, I feel like I can say that about a lot of guys. Just last week while waiting for class to start, I decided to ask the class, “what is love?” The two girls sitting in front of my eyes lit up as soon as they heard the question. I soon realized my mistake as they began to go off on me, practically yelling, about what love is to them. It felt as if they had this preconceived speech prepared and ready for anytime that love was brought up – I can’t even lie; I was very impressed. These two ladies knew what love was to them and they were not afraid to let the world know.
So, what about the guys? Did the guys in the class match the level of enthusiasm that the girls showed?
Not one answer. Out of the four guys in the class, they chose to “not hear what I said.” Eye roll. Well, maybe they are just not expressive enough, perhaps even embarrassed to answer the question. Let me ask my brother, who has a very expressive personality.
“Hey, Anthony, what is love?”
“Ugh … I don’t know, happiness?”
One word! A success! Happiness! Yes! I felt a weird sense of gratification as my brother turned back to his Xbox and told me to close the door on the way out. The difference between the two girls in my class, and my brother was staggering. In one situation, I got the whole rundown on what love is, and the other, I got what was most likely the first word that came to mind.
Obviously there are plenty of guys who would open up about love, and that goes for girls too who choose to be more distant about the topic. Still, that does not change my personal experience, and in this extremely small sample size, I came to the conclusion that girls are just more expressive about love than guys.
But wait, what about me? How do I feel about love?
I got a little nervous as I asked myself this question, will I be as reluctant as all the other guys I spoke to? Not a chance - I am an open book, and to be honest, I can talk about love all damn day. But why is it so easy for me, you ask? Because I am in love, and have been for the past four years.
Words cannot express how happy it makes me to say that I am currently in a healthy, four-year relationship with a beautiful woman who I can safely call my soulmate. With the knowledge I gained over the last four years, I will tell you what love is to me.
To me, love is dedication. When you intertwine your life with someone else’s, you become whole. If I am ever hungry, I no longer think what I am hungry for, I think, what are WE hungry for. It takes two to tango, and baby, I can dance all night long.
To me, love is commitment. I no longer need attention from other girls to make me feel wanted. I have chosen who I want to be with, and with that decision comes major responsibility. Men do not cheat on their significant other – boys do. Because boys do not look towards the future, they live in the now. They want instant satisfaction, and they want it however they can get it. A true man can grab a woman by the hand and confidently tell her, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
To me, and my brother apparently, love is true happiness. As cliché as it sounds, it’s the truth. These past four years have been the happiest I have ever been and that is no coincidence. Are there fights? Of course. Do I ever win a fight? Of course not. Not every relationship is going to be perfect, even though we all wish they can be. Your lover will make you upset at some point; there is just no avoiding it. But it wouldn’t be true love if someone just made you happy all the time. Love is a constant battle, and it is up to you if it’s worth fighting for.
I once read a quote from an unknown source, “When someone makes you the happiest person, and the saddest person at the same time, that’s when it’s real. That’s when it’s worth something.”
Coming from a male perspective – that’s what love is.
Written by Robert Frascati (Wheelhouse Sports)