Yes, I know this response seems self explanatory but let's actually think this through...
Once a cheater always a cheater, we get it, we all make mistakes right?
I'm going to single out the men or "boys" right now. From experience, I've noticed that there are different types of cheaters.
There are men who cheat and always cheat again.
There are men who cheat and consider it "not cheating."
Then there's men who slipped up and cheated, but you know they won't do it again. (Like Derwin on The Game!)
When considering if you should date a cheater or not you should ask these questions.
What did you do?
Why did you do it?
Did you tell your significant other?
Responses I've heard are "I was young and made a mistake," "My girl was too busy," "I didn't want to hurt my current girlfriend by breaking up with her so I just explored other women while being in a relationship." (i.e.: having your cake and eating it too) "She tempted me and made me do it."
So based off of those responses, if a man blames the woman for their actions, THEY ARE NOT THE ONE. I'll write this again. If a man blames another human being for THEIR actions do not date them.
A man or woman takes responsibility for their mistakes or actions and grows from them. Cheating can be forgiven if the man or woman acknowledges it by stating that it was their own fault and actually take responsibility for it.
History repeats itself and it will happen again if you do not approach this the right way. Get all the information you need and make a rational decision based on how they respond. It's never good to judge someone based on their past, so knowing how they presently respond or defend their past actions shows true character.
Would you guys ever date a cheater? Comment below!
So your friends finally convinced you to start online dating, and you feel like you've officially hit rock bottom. First, I just want to commend you for stepping out on faith and letting go of your comfort zone to meet new people, because Lord knows that is not easy.
Online dating can be fun, but it is all about approach, perception, and identity.
Falls under positivity and negativity. You will either approach online dating with a positive outlook or a negative mindset.
You will state something like:
"I don't even want to do this it's so dumb," (negative approach)
"All these guys will be hideous and have nothing to offer me," (negative approach)
"I can't wait to meet someone new so I can learn what type of guys mesh with my personality," (positive approach),
"I am really looking forward to connecting with someone who is down to earth," (positive approach).
I can't stress enough why it is important to have a positive approach before online dating. If you don't then you shouldn't even create the account. It will be a waste of time. Going into online dating being negative will only lead to a negative outcome. If you actually meet someone who could be potential, you will over look them because you went into the experience negatively.
Why are you online dating? Are you expecting to fall in love or just have fun? Before you even create the account you should have some sort of perception of what you want. It could be just exploring, or actually finding something serious. There have been so many success stories with online dating and yours could be one of them if you have the right approach.
I always tell people that expectations can lead to disappointment. If you are expecting to fall in love over the internet it is definitely risky. But that is what stepping out on faith is all about, taking a chance. It is normal to be afraid to open your heart to a random stranger online but it is the same concept of opening yourself to a random stranger at a bar. Yes, you see them in person but you still don't know their real situation. Either way you look at it, you are meeting someone for the first time and it will be risky whether it is online or in person. I'm sure you guys all saw the movie The Perfect Guy with Michael Ealy and Sanaa Lathan.
Know Your Identity
Who are you? Trying to find love online before finding yourself is a set up. Know who you are before seeking a partner. You will find yourself looking for traits that you don't even possess. Some people go searching for the perfect person and never find them, because the person they are searching for is in the mirror. Learn who you are before searching for traits online. Take our love language quiz below and really get to know who you are. Write down your traits of what you have to offer first. It will make a huge impact before online dating.
This is important because if you are not confident within yourself first you will meet a guy who will have the potential to break you mentally and emotionally. When you enter any relationship, date, or meeting, confidently, you are open to failure and being okay with it not working out. So they didn't call you or text back that's fine add them to the blocked list. So they said you weren't their type. That's fine, you already know you're beautiful so it's their loss. Never allow comments like that to affect you, you're poppin' so brush it off and keep it moving.
Dating comes with rejection so you have to be secure within yourself in order to dismiss it. Never take it personally. There is someone out there for everyone. Have a positive outlook, clear perception, and know your identity and you will be perfectly fine.
Watch the video below of my super amazing former coworkers at VH1 online dating using Tinder, Soul Swipe, and Bumble.
Share this post with someone who is considering online dating!
Love is truly in the air this week. I've been getting a lot of questions about love and what determines if you are in love or not.
The truth is the only person who can answer that question is you. A lot of factors come into play when discussing love. From my own personal experience I've loved, and I've loved hard. To all my fellow leo's out there you know that once we're all in, we're in.
The first step is being vulnerable. It is not easy to wear your heart on your sleeve especially after a harsh breakout. Giving people your heart over and over again is hard. Trust me I know. However you will never overcome fear and holding back until you unleash yourself. You will never meet the love of your life by having a huge wall up.
My advice is to pray about it. God will never bring someone into your life who isn't supposed to be there. They will be a lesson or a blessing. There's only one way to find out.
Through my personal experience with love I've been fortunate to come across love in various ways. It taught me the importance of loving myself and that no human on this earth could love me more than I love myself. It wasn't until I got hurt when I began to grow mentally.
Now I know what love isn't, what it is, and what it can be.
Love to me is looking at someone and seeing a reflection of someone you can't live without. A person you look up to and admire. They have best friend qualities and you always have the urge to tell them every last thing that occurred throughout your day and life.
You think they are perfect and can do no wrong. Love is blinding and can make you feel like you are on top of the world. You feel like you met your equal, and your partner. A person who completes you. You can communicate to them from across a crowded room and they can make you laugh and smile just by giving eye contact.
After a long day, they are the only person you want to see or talk to. Only then is your day complete. They appreciate your flaws and will go above and beyond to help you grow in areas where you may need improvement. They are your go-to for advice. If you need someone to vent to about an annoying friend they always cosign with the best shade.
They tell you when you are wrong even if it will make you mad. They understand you inside and out and can tell if there is something bothering you through a simple text message, or the tone in your voice.
Love is about understanding, empowering, and believing in one another. As cliche as love may be it is a feeling I want everyone in the world to feel. So many people think love is dumb and will never happen for them, but that is not true.
As I preach all the time, self-love is the best love. Be your best support system first, before allowing another soul into your heart. That's the best way to know what love is. Once you receive it from yourself you will know what love is when it comes to you.
Not when you "find" it, but when it comes.
What is your definition of love? Share in the comments below!
So what is a love language? Your love language is how you receive love from others, and how you like to show your love to the people around you. It can range from receiving gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, or acts of service.
Do you get happiness from surprise presents after a long day of work, or do you enjoy a chill night sitting on the couch and watching movies ?
It is important to know what your love language is so that the person you are dating, or in a relationship with knows how to effectively show their love towards you in a way that registers with your core values.
If the guy you are dating has a love language of giving gifts, but your love language is quality time there will be a huge disconnect. I know a lot of people who absolutely hate receiving gifts. They prefer to receive their love in simple ways through words of affection or a nice massage.
Your significant other should be able to guess what your love language, if not just simply tell them.
Don't know your love language? Take the quiz here!
Share this post with someone who needs to learn what their love language is.