This is a very delayed post but definitely needed.
Over the course of the last few months I have experienced people's true "energy" and even my own. What energy are we talking about exactly? We won't get too technical but think about it as someone's aura or the way they perceive something. Some people have negative energy and some have positive energy. When someone has negative energy everything they perceive will either start or end with sarcasm or a complaint. If someone has positive energy they usually see the good in everything. If something goes wrong they are the first to make you feel better about it.
The people you surround yourself with will not always have positive energy, because we are human beings and not perfect. The key is understanding the different shifts. You will usually have at least one friend who will be negative in every situation and not even realize they are being negative. For myself, I am overall a very positive position. I do have negative moments where I am sarcastic and complain BUT I always have good intentions. Your friends should know your intentions and understand your personality enough to know when you are deliberately being negative or if you are trying to help. There is a difference, but overall take responsibility for your negative moments and apologize for them. Pouring negativity into situation will only make it worse.
Taking ownership for your energy is so important. Sometimes we lose focus in life and get wrapped up in work, and the negativity surrounding us that we forget about the spirit of love and uplifting others. Try to release your negative thoughts and emotions before entering a chaotic situation. I for one can relate that unorganization drives me crazy. It's so easy to enter a crumbling situation with negativity and name everything going wrong and how it could be better. I had to learn to be understanding of others first before inserting my energy into the situation. Just because I like doing things a certain way doesn't mean everyone else agrees or operates that way.
Learning to work with different energy types and merging into one space is so important. It starts with taking ownership for your own energy and not blaming others for whatever space you are in at that moment. Take a moment to reset and adjust, and then enter the situation with love.
One of the biggest fears in the world is failure. People are so afraid of being bad at something that they talk themselves out of going after their biggest dreams and never know if they would succeed at it or not.
The beauty of life is falling and then getting back up. People don't realize how much they inspire others through their defeat. Fail, and keep going, there's someone waiting to hear your story...
Here's 3 reasons why you should never be afraid to go after your dreams, and never look back!!
1. You are inspiring the future
You have no idea how much our youth looks up to us. Whether you fail at going after your dreams or not they are in awe of your confidence to do it. Make them proud and do your deepest desire they will thank you. So many of my friends and colleagues have amazing ideas of doing things they want to accomplish that actually benefit the next generation. Ranging from opening a homeless shelter that provides career help, personal/professional guidance, and meditation to creating a non-profit for at risk girls in urban communities. Whatever your heart desires, keep in mind that there is a little girl or boy waiting for you to help change their life, make them proud.
2. Your test will be your testimony
When I was at my lowest of lows I kept asking God why I was going through so much pain and anxiety. I was journaling, blogging, praying, and meditating everyday and I was still depressed and unhappy. I couldn't find a job I liked, and I had the worst problem saving money. When I started to tell people what I was going through I came across so many people who were going through the same thing. I couldn't believe that I wasn't alone. Now that I'm working in my dream job and content with my relationship, career, business, and finances I feel like I can share my story with others and inspire them to keep going because it will truly get better. Accept failure and defeat, accept every closed door, and every bit of bad news, it will be your testimony to another crying soul. You will empower them to keep going, because you got through it. So overcome these dark days and keep running towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
3. You are growing tremendously!
Whenever you fail at something your internal growth thanks you. The way you receive the news will determine whether or not you will grow from it or not. Mentally tell yourself that this is only a test and you will be unstoppable. Every closed door will be fuel to propel you to the next opportunity, every negative comment or set back will push you to go back to that audition again and kill it. Trust your process and your journey and trust God's lessons. You are going through it for a reason. Be inspired, be empowered, and be fearless.
2016 was a trying year for me.
It started off amazing as I started yet another new job as an Account Manager at a marketing tech start-up. I went in knowing it wasn't my dream job, but the experience, technical skills, and knowledge I would gain would suffice for the lacking long term potential this position had for me. After 3 months it was confirmed for me that I did not belong there. I prayed & fasted for a week asking God to give me a sign if I should leave or not. That week my boyfriend and I went to P.F. Chang's and on my fortune cookie, it read "You will make a decision with confidence in the coming days."
Yes, I know this could have meant anything but at the time, and at that moment it was confirmation for me to make a decision.
So without a plan, I left the job.
From March to September I went through an emotional spiritual roller coaster trying to put the pieces back together. It was so difficult but I knew God did not give me that sign for no reason. I trusted my leap of faith and I did not want to regret it. After going on a record breaking 32 different interviews, filling out over 200 job applications, and reaching out to old contacts for leads on job opportunites and being ignored by several of them, I was forced to freelance part time just to stay afloat. I kept asking God if I did anything wrong if I had made a mistake but I was given so much peace in knowing that everything would work out. It wasn't working out though... at least not right away. So I learned the amazing gift of patience. I wanted a new amazing position but it was contingent upon waiting for it and trusting God's timing.
After hitting so many dead ends, being rejected by my dream job, and feeling like I was making no progress I felt like I could do only one thing. The opposite of what the devil wanted me to do. I refused to get depressed, give up, and feel sorry for myself. I knew I had to fight so I started to do praise and worship in my room and praise God in the hallway until my door opened. I learned that yes, failure happens and doors will close in your face but what you do during that time shows God if you really trust him or not. Dust your shoulders off and keep pushing because a blessing is definitely on the way.
One thing that really got me through my job search was meditation. I took advantage of having more free time by treating myself to massages, going running in the park, and journaling. This period of rejuvenation allowed me to get to know myself outside of the hard working career woman I was becoming. I was actually able to finally stop life and look at myself in the mirror and gain new persepctives. I learned that sometimes we have to press pause on our hustle and take time to appreciate ourselves, and life.
It was in this moment that I learned my most valuable lesson of 2016. Be still. I kept coming across bible verses, devotionals, and quotes that all stated for me to "be still," like literally do nothing. We all know the bible verse, "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10-11. When I kept seeing these signs I immediately thought okay this is easy just be still and do nothing God got me. But...um..me? Be still? A millennial woman on a misson to get her dream job? Um..right..
It was horrific to do nothing. I felt unproductive and like I was getting nowhere but here I am trusting these signs again.
When applying online I only heard back when it was for a job I didn't really want to work at, and of course I would always get the job and then kindly decline. I think I declined about 6 jobs in 2016 because I was done with floating from job to job and finally wanted longevity doing something I loved. Yes, I know that I shouldn't have been applying to jobs I didn't want but at the time I was desperate! LOL. There's a BIG difference between applying to jobs and applying to your dream job.
A month prior to "being still" I saw a job posting in a TV production group I'm apart of on Facebook, for a position at Refinery29. I DM'ed the guy and he told me to email my resume. I was "still" for about 2 weeks and this meant not doing anything else for my job search and fully trusting God. I was on my way to do my daily running in the park and I received a phone call from the guy from R29. Long story short he asked me if I could start working the next day. I immediately thought to myself wow, that was fast. R29 has an amazing video production dept with so much growth and innovation. The position I was offered was extremely entry-level and something I couldn't see myself doing for a long time, but it was a step in the right direction.
A few days after getting that job offer, I received another email from a woman at VH1 asking me to come in for an interview, and I received the job! So in a matter of 2 weeks, "being still" showed me the effect of trying to chase fireflies. If you just relax, align yourself with the universe, and focus on what you want mentally, it will eventually just come to you. I got offered two amazing jobs within 2 months.
Throughout the course of these last 365 days I went through so much. So many tears, closed doors, lessons, and spirtual growth. However throughout my struggles I still accomplished so much. I received my Master's degree, I launched Unleash Yourself, I taught a crash TV production course at Essex County College, I created, organized, and led 3 amazing events, I was a panelist at the Brown Women in Media Brunch, traveled to Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Amsterdam, DC, and the Bahamas, and gained the career of my dreams!!
Even when I was at the lowest of lows, I still found ways to create opportunities for other young professionals who may have been going through the same thing. I know I wasn't the only one going through a job search struggle, it's quite common during our time period. But knowing how to overcome it is key. I learned that no matter what, God is in control. You can apply to 10,000 jobs but if you are not praying and asking God for guidance you are still trying to steer your own wheel and will end up getting nowhere. Align yourself with what God wants for you and then "be still." It will not be easy but you will be at peace knowing that God got you and will never steer you astray. Trust his timing, his signs (no matter how weird they are), and trust his presence over your life.
2016 you were quite interesting but I am so happy with all the amazing things you taught me.
2017 shall be LIT!
Tis the season to be... turnt?
So you've been invited to a few holiday parties. Now what? What will make your party experience memorable and/or regrettable? Here are 5 ways to make a lasting impression on your fellow party-goers.
1. Bring something!
There is nothing more tacky than showing up to someone's home empty handed. Even if the party host says "Oh, no it's fine I have everything covered," still bring something. It can be as simple as homemade cookies or a $5 bottle of champagne, or even a holiday card. Bringing some holiday cheer into the room will be sure to leave a lasting impression.
2. Pace yourself
Most holiday parties are booze-filled with spiked egg nog, or rum punch. I personally always try to stay away from the punch because that's usually what sneaks up on you the fastest. Play it safe and pour yourself a glass of wine or prosecco. It will keep you buzzed but also classy.
3. Practice your small talk
There is nothing more awkward than getting stuck in a conversation with people you don't know. The day before the party, write down 5 questions/topics that you can talk about with another party patron. Here's a few good ones to get you started.
Compliment their outfit and ask where they got it from.
Notice a blingy ring? Compliment their ring and engage in conversation about their wedding planning or newly wed escapades.
Ask what shows they are currently watching. There is nothing like bonding over a conversation about the fall of Scandal or the new hit show Insecure.
4. Dress comfortably
Whether you're going to a classy work Christmas gala or an ugly Christmas sweater party always keep it comfy and classy. Make sure your dress or skirt is an appropriate length, and make sure your shoes don't mash your pinky toe into your big toe. The last thing you want is a wardrobe malfunction amongst colleagues, friends, family, and neighbors.
5. Don't be a party pooper
No one likes a grinch at their holiday gatherings. Leave your problems at the door. If you're going through a breakup, please don't be found in the bathroom crying on the toilet. No matter what you are going through try your best to engage in all the party games, contests, and dancing.
What are some of your holiday party do's and don'ts? Share in the comments below!