OMG I love my friends so much! The older we get the more we begin to appreciate friendships. Your friend should be someone who genuinely wants to see you succeed. They get more excited about your accomplishments than you do, and they empower you to become so much more than you already are.
This is important because we seek these traits in marriage and relationships. Knowing the meaning of a friend is more important than you think. When you make excuses for your friends behavior and actions, it is creating a comfort zone. That type of "comfort" will carry over into your personal life, relationships, and marriages. You will begin to make excuses for your boyfriend or girlfriend's behavior because that is what you do with your friends. This can come from fear of losing a friend or significant other. People like to hold on to things in the hopes of the person changing. This is a comfort zone.
It will cause you to have people around you who do not bring value to your life, and you will be okay with it because you don't see a problem in doing that. You are only justifying their characteristics and accepting them for who they are even if what they do does not mesh with your values. What's wrong with that right? Well everything.
If you have a friend who does drugs but you've known them since the 2nd grade you may find a reason to justify keeping them around even though you don't want people like that around you. Like who wants to get rid of a friend right? I wouldn't want to either. What you need to realize is that keeping people in your circle who are not uplifting you, motivating you, supporting you, or providing positive energy around you, will only create a barrier and more problems down the road.
Making excuses for people is bad and you cannot keep people around you just because you don't want to hurt them, or because you feel like it will create a problem, or make things uncomfortable. I know that you "understand" them and have become accustom to their personality but you have to step out of that in order for them to see what they are doing wrong.
I truly commend people who are accepting of people's flaws and know how to tolerate the things that don't mesh with them. However people like that don't realize how stagnant they are making themselves. You will feel much better by just letting that person go. How will that person ever grow if you continuously make them feel like everything is okay. They will remain the same forever. Make them uncomfortable by letting go. I guarantee they will see the bigger picture and realize their actions.
Oprah and Gale have one of the cutest friendships in the entertainment industry. I saw this video on For Harriet of Oprah speaking about her friendship with Gayle (watch it here).Their relationship has proven to be authentic and Oprah's tears in the interview as she spoke about Gayle was truly remarkable. It's hard to find true friends now-a-days. So many people want to compete with one another instead of empower each other. Watch and be inspired!
So, you got a new boyfriend and your besties think you've changed? Interesting. This is a very common case. It is natural for you to venture out and meet new people. However, when your friends notice that you've been missing twerk it Tuesday's at the club in order to spend time with your boyfriend, what do you do?
In your mind you are not doing anything wrong. You just decided to stay in and spend some quality time with the bf. Meanwhile your friends are freaking out thinking you betrayed them for a guy.
The solution is to talk to your friends and find a balance. Your friends were there for you before he was, so that is the only perception they are seeing. You need to get them to understand your perception of growth. They clearly miss you, so be understanding and hear them out.
They miss staying up late and gossiping on the phone with you, and they miss going out and partying the night away having tons of fun. Now that you've been spending more time with your new boyfriend they are starting to feel like you've changed or you think you are too good to hang out with them anymore.
It could be that you've outgrown the club scene or the old things you do with them. It might not even be your new boyfriend preventing you from spending time with them. It could be that you are changing for the better because you are in a serious relationship now and can't do the same things you were doing before. You are growing, and they are not.
Either way they are still your friends and it is important to let them know what is going on and the real reason why you've been distant. Yes, they will talk about you behind your back and post photos together to make you feel like you are missing out on something. So in order to overcome that, be the bigger person and talk to them.
Your friends may be crazy but you love them. They were there for you before the new guy and will continue to be there no for you no matter what. Never allow a guy to control your friendships, ever. If they are your real friends and know you inside and out, they will understand your growth.
Never be afraid to express how you are feeling, that is the only way to get clarity and understanding. It might take a while for them to understand the change. But at least you were open and honest with them. Be true to yourself that is most important.
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Valentine's Day is a day to show your significant other how much you love and care about them. Men all over the world send flowers, chocolates, and candy to their special lady to bring a smile to their face. Blah, blah, blah.
Valentine's Day should not be a day for you to expect things from anyone. If the person you are dating isn't treating you like a queen the other 364 days out of the year there is something clearly wrong.
I love the concept of Valentine's Day for the idea of spreading love throughout the world. With that being said don't be upset, depressed, or sad about not having a Valentine. Find a way to spread love throughout the world! Don't make it all about you.
You can give a homeless person a box of chocolates, or visit a near by children's hospital and give out Valentine's Day cards. Anything you can do to spread love to someone you wouldn't normally spread love towards. Imagine how happy they would be!
Ladies and gents, Valentine's Day is great but it doesn't have to be about going on a hot date with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You can do that any day. Step outside of your comfort zone and self centeredness and put a smile on someone's face other than your own.
I know you guys are like oh hushhhhh you know you planned to go on a hot date with your boyfriend. The truth is I am! I'm just tired of hearing women complain about not having a Valentine. Or complaining that their boyfriend didn't plan anything. It's not that serious. You guys are beautiful conquering individuals. You don't need a Valentine to validate your worth.
Think outside the box and do something for someone else. The positive energy you implement onto others will be exuded onto you.
Share this post with two friends and continue to spread some Valentine's Day love!
Being the single friend is hard I get it. However, you don't understand how poppin' you actually are. You are in a stage where you can find yourself before exploring your endless opportunities. The world is your oyster!
Take advantage of meeting new people and learning what your "type" actually is. Enjoy going out and learning about different personality types and characteristics. It can be hard for some people to step outside of their comfort zone and really Unleash themselves to get to know someone.
The key is to go into the situation without expectations. We talked about the "list" in our last post. Don't go into a situation expecting anything. You are single and mingling. If you end up liking each other then great! But don't expect that to happen right away. Remember that you, and the opposing party are single so there should be no expectations. You will have way less anxiety meeting new people by having that mindset.
If the person is for you the universe will ensure that it will happen. You don't have to stress about not getting a phone call or text the next day. It just wasn't meant to be.
Being single is the perfect time to get to know YOU. Your goals, your vision for yourself, your feelings, your thoughts about yourself, and how to make promises to yourself.
Before allowing another soul into your life it is important to be happy within yourself first and know who are you. Once you allow another soul into your life their actions and words towards you should only grow you as a person but not make you who you are.
Being single is about being YOU. Loving YOU, Embracing YOU, Owning who YOU are, and being happy by yourself. The way you perceive yourself is the way everyone else will perceive you. You will attract your perfect partner by being confident within yourself and not actually needing them to make you happy. Them being around you is just an addition to your happiness.
Live your singleness fearlessly and confidently and you will continue to kill the game before finding someone to match your fly.
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