This week I learned the importance of cleansing my circle and conducted a #FriendshipCleanse
A friendship cleanse does not mean to cut your friends off. If you feel the need to do that then you guys were never friends to begin with. If you spend a lot of time with someone you will naturally get tired of them. That means you need to do a cleanse. My friends and I are very close and we love having slumber parties, sushi nights, and wine gossip almost every weekend. During those meet-ups we tend to talk about our week, any updates or drama happening in our lives, and our thoughts about current events. Our weekly meet-ups were only missing one thing... a #FriendshipCleanse.
How many times has one of your friends thrown shade at you subliminally and you caught it but didn't say anything *raises hand* All the time right? How many times has a friend said "I'll pay you back" but "forgets." How many times has a friend shown up to one of your gatherings empty handed but makes sure to pour themselves a drink?
It's so natural to have issues that need to be addressed amongst friends. Sometimes the issues can be innocent and the person doing it may not even know they are affecting you. The point is, it was never addressed and now you have it in the back of your mind bottled up. You mentally tell yourself to except the person because you've known them since you were 6 years old and you know how they are, and it's okay, but is it really okay? If something does not mesh with the way you do things, then you need to say something. Do not accept the way people act towards you, if it does not mesh with your core values. You will eventually start to resent them.
Conduct a #FriendshipCleanse by first asking another friend in your circle if they notice the actions you are seeing with the problem friend. If they agree, and say "Hmm, now that you mention it I do notice that problem friend does that a lot." Now you have reassurance that what you are experiencing is not all in your head.
Next, you need to approach problem friend in a very nice, unaggressive way and conduct the #FriendshipCleanse. Do not beat around the bush and start casual conversation first. That's annoying. Just be upfront. We are all adults and should be able to have a conversation with our friends without it turning into an argument. If it does turn into an argument then the entire friendship needs to be evaluated as a whole.
A #FriendshipCleanse is a very healthy way to maintain transparent relationships with your besties. Don't be a fake friend. If something is bothering you, speak up. The problem friend could possibly grow and learn something from you addressing them.
If you need help or guidance with a specific problem friend situation comment below or contact me!