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The What Are We Conversation

1/19/2016

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Okay fellas we get it, we're annoying. We know that all you wanted to do was have fun and not have a "title." But guess what, we want to know what this is that we're doing. Another day shall not come until we have this here conversation.

Ladies, here are 5 things you need to say during the what are we convo.

1. What are we?
This is for the ladies who do not have a filter and want to know straight out the gate what is this? You've been dating for about a year, you still haven't met the family, and you feel like you're being hidden. Just simply ask, what are we? Be mindful of timing. Don't ask this question after an argument or after you saw that he posted a picture of his female best friend on Instagram. Don't be petty about it. 

2. I need transparency.
A lot of people think that being in a relationship or dating is irrelevant and the only thing that is important is the "ring," or marriage. No one realizes that there will be no "ring" or marriage if you do not have transparency during the dating stage. If you are being hesitant to call someone your girlfriend how will you be confident to call them your wife? You need to tell him that you need to know where the relationship is going and set goals for the next step if that is what you want.

3. I feel like I'm wasting my time.
This is a bit drastic and can come off like you're being the victim. Rule number one in asking what are we is to be confident within yourself first. If you know what you want in a husband and you feel like you are not getting those traits from your significant other, then you need to move on. Some guys date with the intention of just having fun. Don't fall victim to someone like that if you were expecting more to come from it. Don't end up on the #wastemytime2016 meme.

4. What are your expectations for this relationship?
One thing I've learned about men is that they are very sensitive creatures and they know what they want early on. You can usually tell what a man's expectations are from the start. So if you have to ask this question one year in, then something isn't right.

5. I want you
Are you being transparent? Women wear their heart on their sleeves and believe that it tends to get broken all the time from saying things like "I want you," or "I really like you." The funny thing is, men prefer this. Be transparent and don't be afraid to say how you feel. If they don't feel the same way then they are not the one. 

The what are we conversation is so awkward. You don't want to come off like you are putting pressure on him or like you are forcing him to make things official. In my opinion, if you have to ask this question then you should already know what the answer will be....

Comment below with your thoughts about the what are we conversation do you think it is necessary to have?
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Photos used under Creative Commons from Brett Jordan, AJC ajcann.wordpress.com, Rosmarie Voegtli, Summer Skyes 11
  • HOME
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