5 Signs That You Found “THE ONE” – From a Dude’s Perspective.
If you have read my previous posts on this blog, you will know that I have a girlfriend. This is important to know because my girlfriend also has … girlfriends, so I am constantly involved in the drama that the girl world brings.
Now, at the moment, my girlfriend is in an interesting situation – within her main group of friends (about five girls), she is currently the only one with a boyfriend. This has now turned her into some relationship guru with her friends constantly berating her for advice on what they refer to as “the most evil thing on the planet” – men. BUT, little do these girls know, while they look to my girlfriend for advice, I am hanging in the background just sipping my tea. It has come to the point where these girls are so paranoid about finding a man; they are literally accepting anyone into their lives. They have completely lost sight of the patience it takes for a relationship to work and have now choose to ignore all the red flags that these guys are presenting them.
As a guy, I admit that we are not perfect; however, there are amazing men out there who, believe it or not, want to date you. But you cannot settle. If you settle, you are basically giving up. DO NOT GIVE UP. I promise you that there is someone out there waiting to make you the happiest girl in the world, and I am here to help you find that person.
So here they are, Five Signs That You Found “THE ONE.”
1. They Accept Your Social Circle
This is often overlooked and can immediately tell you a lot about someone. When a new man enters your life, take him out with your girlfriends. Seriously, it can either confirm you found your soul mate, or prove that you are wasting your time. I will never forget the first night out with my girlfriend and her friends. They were very critical of me, questioning everything I said. If I even looked at another girl, ohhhhh man, just hook me up to the lie detector machine already. But in the end, I passed their test. They liked me, and I can’t even lie, I liked them – I had a lot of fun that night. By accepting my girlfriend’s inner circle, I was able to gain their trust.
This is a mistake I see a lot of people make. They enter a new relationship, and immediately expect all the attention to be on them, 24/7. They choose to ignore that their new partner had a life before they came into the picture. This is a red flag and absolutely unacceptable. If someone attempts to break you off from your inner circle, then you have to break them off from your life. This is not a person you want to be with; actually, it is not a person who deserves you. Find someone who accepts your inner circle as their own, and it will be your friends calling him “THE ONE.”
2. They Support You – No Matter What
I really hate to put the most cliché things into my work, but support from your significant other is one of the most satisfying parts about a relationship.
I had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life two years ago. I was graduating college with an English degree, but felt that was not enough to enter the work world. I wanted to double major and get a Communications degree to go along with it. When I presented this idea to my parents, I was basically shut down. “Two more years of school? And we’re not even talking about the money.” Wow, thanks mom (Just kidding, love you)! So, after getting shut down, I mentioned it to my girlfriend. “You would be stupid if you didn’t do what you wanted. Your parents don’t run your life.” Lets just say I scheduled my classes the next day for my new major.
Your significant other MUST support you. It is crucial to a successful relationship. Long, emotional day at work? What would be better than coming home to someone who will simply rub your back and tell you everything is going to be okay – because honestly, sometimes that’s all it takes. When you find someone that can look you in the eyes and tell you that they have your back no matter what – that is when you know you found “THE ONE.”
3. They Are Willing To Make Adjustments
Change is hard. Actually, that is an understatement because change is REALLY hard. Most people only will change if they are forced to, and a relationship can hold that type of weight. You should NOT try to change a person when entering a new relationship; however, that does not meant they should not try to adjust to their new partner. That yoga class you take every Saturday morning? “Sure babe, I’ll come along.” It is the little things that really show how much someone is into you.
When I began my relationship, I was not a sushi fan. I could not say the same about my girlfriend, because she loved sushi. Four years later and who loves sushi now? Me. Why? Because I adjusted to the relationship. I showed my girlfriend that I was willing to make a small change for her, and she has since returned the favor. If you found someone that is willing to adjust for you, even the slightest bit, they have the potential to be “THE ONE.”
4. You Enjoy The Time You Spend Together
Be honest, how many times have you seen a couple fighting and you ask yourself, “what are those two still doing together?” What is the point of a relationship if your time together is spent screaming at one another? I understand that fights happen, but we all know those relationships that seem to revolve around fighting. Don’t be one of those relationships. You are with someone because you love them and enjoy their company. When they are at work, you cannot wait for them to get home, and when you are in their presence, you can’t wipe the smile off your face.
When you begin dating someone, the plan is to spend your life with him or her. That is the goal. Do not waste your life away with someone you can’t stand. Once you have someone that you WANT to be around, they might just be “THE ONE.”
5. They Have Good Communication Skills
This is without a doubt the most important part of a relationship – good communication. When you are not happy with your significant other, you should feel comfortable enough to tell them why. For all the ladies reading, you have to cut the “they should know why I am mad” act. That was cute back in high school, but you’re an adult now, and you should start communicating like one. Let your partner know why you are upset, and talk it through. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS. If you are not open with them, how on Earth can they possibly be open with you? Some men may seem tough on the outside, but they are filled with just as much emotion as any woman – even if they don’t show.
If you show you are willing to communicate, it is now your partner’s turn to return the favor. Now, if your partner is reluctant at first, give them a chance to show you they are willing to work through a problem. Communication between two humans is something that takes time. Remember, a successful relationship requires patience, and when it comes to communication, it is not always going to click right away. If both parties work on their communication skills, it will only build the relationship stronger as time goes on.
With all that being said, do not wait forever. Some people are just not compatible, which is why so many relationships are dedicated to fighting. They are trying to force something to work when love can never be forced. It is all on you to decide if you are compatible when it comes to communication, and if you are not, I highly suggest moving on. However, if you two can maintain positive communication, then it is likely that you found “THE ONE."
Written by Robert Frascati Wheelhouse Sports