5 Signs That You Found “THE ONE” – From a Dude’s Perspective.
If you have read my previous posts on this blog, you will know that I have a girlfriend. This is important to know because my girlfriend also has … girlfriends, so I am constantly involved in the drama that the girl world brings.
Now, at the moment, my girlfriend is in an interesting situation – within her main group of friends (about five girls), she is currently the only one with a boyfriend. This has now turned her into some relationship guru with her friends constantly berating her for advice on what they refer to as “the most evil thing on the planet” – men. BUT, little do these girls know, while they look to my girlfriend for advice, I am hanging in the background just sipping my tea. It has come to the point where these girls are so paranoid about finding a man; they are literally accepting anyone into their lives. They have completely lost sight of the patience it takes for a relationship to work and have now choose to ignore all the red flags that these guys are presenting them.
As a guy, I admit that we are not perfect; however, there are amazing men out there who, believe it or not, want to date you. But you cannot settle. If you settle, you are basically giving up. DO NOT GIVE UP. I promise you that there is someone out there waiting to make you the happiest girl in the world, and I am here to help you find that person.
So here they are, Five Signs That You Found “THE ONE.”
1. They Accept Your Social Circle
This is often overlooked and can immediately tell you a lot about someone. When a new man enters your life, take him out with your girlfriends. Seriously, it can either confirm you found your soul mate, or prove that you are wasting your time. I will never forget the first night out with my girlfriend and her friends. They were very critical of me, questioning everything I said. If I even looked at another girl, ohhhhh man, just hook me up to the lie detector machine already. But in the end, I passed their test. They liked me, and I can’t even lie, I liked them – I had a lot of fun that night. By accepting my girlfriend’s inner circle, I was able to gain their trust.
This is a mistake I see a lot of people make. They enter a new relationship, and immediately expect all the attention to be on them, 24/7. They choose to ignore that their new partner had a life before they came into the picture. This is a red flag and absolutely unacceptable. If someone attempts to break you off from your inner circle, then you have to break them off from your life. This is not a person you want to be with; actually, it is not a person who deserves you. Find someone who accepts your inner circle as their own, and it will be your friends calling him “THE ONE.”
2. They Support You – No Matter What
I really hate to put the most cliché things into my work, but support from your significant other is one of the most satisfying parts about a relationship.
I had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life two years ago. I was graduating college with an English degree, but felt that was not enough to enter the work world. I wanted to double major and get a Communications degree to go along with it. When I presented this idea to my parents, I was basically shut down. “Two more years of school? And we’re not even talking about the money.” Wow, thanks mom (Just kidding, love you)! So, after getting shut down, I mentioned it to my girlfriend. “You would be stupid if you didn’t do what you wanted. Your parents don’t run your life.” Lets just say I scheduled my classes the next day for my new major.
Your significant other MUST support you. It is crucial to a successful relationship. Long, emotional day at work? What would be better than coming home to someone who will simply rub your back and tell you everything is going to be okay – because honestly, sometimes that’s all it takes. When you find someone that can look you in the eyes and tell you that they have your back no matter what – that is when you know you found “THE ONE.”
3. They Are Willing To Make Adjustments
Change is hard. Actually, that is an understatement because change is REALLY hard. Most people only will change if they are forced to, and a relationship can hold that type of weight. You should NOT try to change a person when entering a new relationship; however, that does not meant they should not try to adjust to their new partner. That yoga class you take every Saturday morning? “Sure babe, I’ll come along.” It is the little things that really show how much someone is into you.
When I began my relationship, I was not a sushi fan. I could not say the same about my girlfriend, because she loved sushi. Four years later and who loves sushi now? Me. Why? Because I adjusted to the relationship. I showed my girlfriend that I was willing to make a small change for her, and she has since returned the favor. If you found someone that is willing to adjust for you, even the slightest bit, they have the potential to be “THE ONE.”
4. You Enjoy The Time You Spend Together
Be honest, how many times have you seen a couple fighting and you ask yourself, “what are those two still doing together?” What is the point of a relationship if your time together is spent screaming at one another? I understand that fights happen, but we all know those relationships that seem to revolve around fighting. Don’t be one of those relationships. You are with someone because you love them and enjoy their company. When they are at work, you cannot wait for them to get home, and when you are in their presence, you can’t wipe the smile off your face.
When you begin dating someone, the plan is to spend your life with him or her. That is the goal. Do not waste your life away with someone you can’t stand. Once you have someone that you WANT to be around, they might just be “THE ONE.”
5. They Have Good Communication Skills
This is without a doubt the most important part of a relationship – good communication. When you are not happy with your significant other, you should feel comfortable enough to tell them why. For all the ladies reading, you have to cut the “they should know why I am mad” act. That was cute back in high school, but you’re an adult now, and you should start communicating like one. Let your partner know why you are upset, and talk it through. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS. If you are not open with them, how on Earth can they possibly be open with you? Some men may seem tough on the outside, but they are filled with just as much emotion as any woman – even if they don’t show.
If you show you are willing to communicate, it is now your partner’s turn to return the favor. Now, if your partner is reluctant at first, give them a chance to show you they are willing to work through a problem. Communication between two humans is something that takes time. Remember, a successful relationship requires patience, and when it comes to communication, it is not always going to click right away. If both parties work on their communication skills, it will only build the relationship stronger as time goes on.
With all that being said, do not wait forever. Some people are just not compatible, which is why so many relationships are dedicated to fighting. They are trying to force something to work when love can never be forced. It is all on you to decide if you are compatible when it comes to communication, and if you are not, I highly suggest moving on. However, if you two can maintain positive communication, then it is likely that you found “THE ONE."
Written by Robert Frascati Wheelhouse Sports
Communication, trust, respect, patience, understanding, listening, sacrifice, commitment, internal growth, wisdom...
and the list goes on...
What are the key ingredients to a healthy relationship?
This question varies situation by situation but one word falls true for everyone, TRUST. You cannot have a healthy relationship without trust. A lot of couples wither away due to the lack of the big "T" word and they subconsciously don't know that it is missing within their unit.
Trust isn't just about cheating it also falls in line with making decisions and relying on another human to make life changing choices for you. Trust is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship and couples must find that thin line that keeps it together.
Trust and communication are the foundations. They are the outlining pieces that keep everything together. Without them, you don't have commitment, respect, patience, understanding, listening, sacrifice, internal growth, or wisdom.
Through communication you gain understanding, listening, internal growth, and wisdom. Through trust you gain respect, patience, and commitment. Everything intertwines with one another to create a bigger picture and goal.
Know the key ingredients for a healthy relationship, and understand how they coincide with another. Your future mate awaits...
Every February, guys begin to panic. “What are we doing for Valentine’s Day,” becomes your girlfriend’s favorite question, and “ughhhhhhh, I don’t know,” becomes your new favorite response. But see, it does not have to be this way. Imagine your girlfriend asking you that question and you can give her a legitimate answer?
That is why I am here, to help my fellow bros out.
I am currently in a four-year relationship, so this February 14th (tip number one, know the date) will be my fifth Valentine’s Day – so yeah, it’s safe to say I am a pro. So here they are – 7 Valentine’s Day tips to help you own the day.
Flowers – To me, flowers are a must. They take absolutely no thought, and I have never seen a girl get upset about receiving flowers. Obviously you’re going to want to avoid the 7/11 flowers, and the ones from the random dude on the corner. If you contact a florist the day of, you can get a nice little arrangement with a vase for around $40. If that is too expensive, many places also sell single roses. Pro tip – most girls love roses. Flowers will put a smile on your girlfriend’s face, I guarantee it.
Dinner – Girls love food, plain and simple. If the flowers didn’t do it, dinner will. Now, you can approach this from how you feel necessary. Some guys like to make dinner, and I am sure this would thrill any girl; however, if you are like me and struggle with boiling water, I suggest you take her out. Make sure you both discuss the place, as dinner surprises are not always the best. My girlfriend is a picky eater and she has to examine every menu to every place we go to beforehand. Also, the man always pays on Valentine’s day, no excuses fellas.
Start a Tradition – This one is more long term, but the earlier you start, the better. For instance, my girlfriend and I always go out to an Italian Restaurant for Valentine’s Day. We go to a different restaurant every year, and since we both love Italian food, it has turned into a tradition. Other ideas would maybe watch a certain movie every year, or always visit a place that has a certain meaning tied to the relationship. Anything that will bring the relationship back to its roots and remember why you two are together in the first place.
Plan Early – This was always my biggest issue early on. That restaurant that you guys wanted to go to? Yeah, there no longer taking reservations. Your favorite band playing Valentine’s Day night? Too bad all the tickets are sold out. Do not ruin the day over something that could have easily been avoided. Stop being lazy and just get the annoying parts out the way.
Be Thoughtful When Giving a Gift – I am not a believer in Valentine’s Day gifts, but I know that many would disagree with me. With Valentine’s Day following Christmas, I see no point in buying or receiving an expensive gift. In my opinion, Valentine’s Day gifts are more about the thought than the money. I’ll never forget the year that my girlfriend surprised me with a deck of cards that were transformed into a little book, and on every card there was a special little message that described something she loves about me. It was the cutest thing, and I still have it to this day. It maybe cost her $5 to make, but it meant just as much as any gift she has ever given me.
Be Spontaneous – It’s Valentine’s Day and the movie you and your girlfriend plan to see does not start until 6:30. “Hey babe, you want to go for a walk in the park before the movie?” Caught up in the spirt of the day, who would say no? Again, this can cost no money at all, but could have a major impact on the day. The more random the better. Walk around Barnes and Nobel looking for books, shooting hoops at a local court, or visiting one of her relatives for a quick hello. There are so many little things you could do to fill in the gaps between dinner and other things you have planned.
No Fighting – Valentine’s Day is a celebration of your love, don’t let a fight ruin that. Early in the day, make a deal with your significant other – no fighting. If you are both on the same page, things should go way smoother. All bad vibes must be thrown out the window, and both the man and woman have to work together for the day to go as planned. Let’s be honest here, dinner can’t come soon enough, and you find yourself getting short. Frustration is building as your girlfriend still isn’t ready with only 30 minutes to make your reservation on time. These are the times where you have to remember your agreement, and relax and let her do her thing.
Think about these tips before the big day and I promise you that you will have the best Valentine’s Day that you have ever had.
Written by Robert Frascati Wheelhouse Sports
Love… arguably the most powerful four-letter word in the whole English language. A word so intimidating, that it has the ability to spark such a wide range of emotions for so many people: happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy - seriously, I can go on forever. However, instead of rambling on, I am going to look at love from a specific angle – the male perspective.
Now, I will be completely honest, love from my (the male) perspective is not something I have put much thought into in the past; actually, I feel like I can say that about a lot of guys. Just last week while waiting for class to start, I decided to ask the class, “what is love?” The two girls sitting in front of my eyes lit up as soon as they heard the question. I soon realized my mistake as they began to go off on me, practically yelling, about what love is to them. It felt as if they had this preconceived speech prepared and ready for anytime that love was brought up – I can’t even lie; I was very impressed. These two ladies knew what love was to them and they were not afraid to let the world know.
So, what about the guys? Did the guys in the class match the level of enthusiasm that the girls showed?
Not one answer. Out of the four guys in the class, they chose to “not hear what I said.” Eye roll. Well, maybe they are just not expressive enough, perhaps even embarrassed to answer the question. Let me ask my brother, who has a very expressive personality.
“Hey, Anthony, what is love?”
“Ugh … I don’t know, happiness?”
One word! A success! Happiness! Yes! I felt a weird sense of gratification as my brother turned back to his Xbox and told me to close the door on the way out. The difference between the two girls in my class, and my brother was staggering. In one situation, I got the whole rundown on what love is, and the other, I got what was most likely the first word that came to mind.
Obviously there are plenty of guys who would open up about love, and that goes for girls too who choose to be more distant about the topic. Still, that does not change my personal experience, and in this extremely small sample size, I came to the conclusion that girls are just more expressive about love than guys.
But wait, what about me? How do I feel about love?
I got a little nervous as I asked myself this question, will I be as reluctant as all the other guys I spoke to? Not a chance - I am an open book, and to be honest, I can talk about love all damn day. But why is it so easy for me, you ask? Because I am in love, and have been for the past four years.
Words cannot express how happy it makes me to say that I am currently in a healthy, four-year relationship with a beautiful woman who I can safely call my soulmate. With the knowledge I gained over the last four years, I will tell you what love is to me.
To me, love is dedication. When you intertwine your life with someone else’s, you become whole. If I am ever hungry, I no longer think what I am hungry for, I think, what are WE hungry for. It takes two to tango, and baby, I can dance all night long.
To me, love is commitment. I no longer need attention from other girls to make me feel wanted. I have chosen who I want to be with, and with that decision comes major responsibility. Men do not cheat on their significant other – boys do. Because boys do not look towards the future, they live in the now. They want instant satisfaction, and they want it however they can get it. A true man can grab a woman by the hand and confidently tell her, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
To me, and my brother apparently, love is true happiness. As cliché as it sounds, it’s the truth. These past four years have been the happiest I have ever been and that is no coincidence. Are there fights? Of course. Do I ever win a fight? Of course not. Not every relationship is going to be perfect, even though we all wish they can be. Your lover will make you upset at some point; there is just no avoiding it. But it wouldn’t be true love if someone just made you happy all the time. Love is a constant battle, and it is up to you if it’s worth fighting for.
I once read a quote from an unknown source, “When someone makes you the happiest person, and the saddest person at the same time, that’s when it’s real. That’s when it’s worth something.”
Coming from a male perspective – that’s what love is.
Written by Robert Frascati (Wheelhouse Sports)