In this thing we call life, we have the tendency to lose focus on ourselves. We work nonstop, we thrive to be in successful relationships and friendships and care so much about elevating that we lose focus on our well being. It is so important to take a step back and reevaluate what is truly important to us and that should be ourselves.
I speak from experience when I say that I always put others before myself. Especially being that I am a giver and I genuinely love to see people around me succeed. Sometimes I exert so much energy into making sure everyone around me is happy that I tend to lose focus on MY needs and the things I can handle in my day to day life. For example, saying yes to attending EVERYONE'S birthday, event, Bridal Shower, Wedding, baby shower, gender reveal, engagement party, graduation party, etc and sometimes saying yes knowing that I already have 2 events to attend that day. I had to tell myself CHOOSE YOU and stop allowing people to pull me in so many different directions. It's okay to say no. I would exhaust myself going to 4 events in one day just to give my love and support when in actuality that wasn't necessary.
Choosing yourself brings a sense of peace. It allows you to reconnect with YOUR needs and start to understand who you are as a person. I really had to sit with myself and make a promise to stop saying yes to everyone. It was a sigh of relief knowing that I was choosing me first.
In addition to that, we have to make time to get to know who we are. Before you can truly be happy in a relationship, at your job, or even as a person, you have to get to know yourself and that starts with spending time alone and being happy by yourself. Going to the movies, taking a walk in the park, meditating, going to a restaurant, all by yourself is something you should get use to doing.
Trying to gain fulfillment in other people, things, and experiences is never going to cut it. It will only bring temporary happiness. Choosing yourself allows you to see that happiness is an inside job. It starts and grows from within. Take the time to get to know you, and you'll truly begin to elevate.
The world has the power to perpetuate our minds into being someone we're not. As human beings we sometimes don't realize how special we are and how our unique gift was given to us to specifically meet the worlds need. You don't realize what your gift is until you see, from your perspective, what is lacking in the world. For me it was strength and positivity.
Being a student for 25 years taught me a lot and I don't mean Algebra. I saw that students were developing something that was paralyzing them, and it was an itty bitty little word called fear. Students were afraid to raise their hand in fear of giving the wrong answer, they were afraid to do presentations and they were afraid to speak up. This hindrance has scarred so many generations of students and even for myself, I too suffered from it and paid the price of holding back my elevation.
From my experiences throughout school and my career. I've learned that fear is just as contagious as confidence is. I identified with so many powerful women who would be in meetings with me who spoke so confidently and unapologetically. I realized that the fear bug I caught while in school and seeing my peers so fearful to speak in public wasn't real. I had to unleash the boss hidden inside of me, and then empower those around me to do the same. I too, began to speak unapologetically and it started to resonate with people. People started to identify with my story and wanted to live their full potential.
The power of being you starts with owning your flaws. I overcame such defeat by being cognizant of my fear and then uplifting those around me. There will always be someone around you who is going through the same thing. Own your flaws and become you, someone is waiting for you to change their life.
Can you believe it's 2018? Time really flies by. Looking back on my past posts I have to say I've REALLY come a long way. Documenting your journey is so important to your growth and will enable you to appreciate how much you have overcome.
For me, when I first started Unleash Yourself I never intended for it to have a negative impact on people but somehow it did. I wrote about relationships, love, professional development, being single, and healthy lifestyle choices. I listened to my audience, looked at my metrics and aligned myself with what they resonated with the most.
In 2018 I want to make conscious decisions similar to that. Listening myself and being more concerned with what I want. In 2017 I felt like I was "trying" I was "expecting" I was "anticipating" but never really getting anywhere.
I started the year working at an amazing job, witnessed 4 beautiful weddings, traveled to LA, Malibu, Jamaica, and Toronto. I took on clients for myself and coached their careers, and I hosted 2 amazing events at Bloomfield College. In addition to that I was given the opportunity to teach at the college level for the Spring 2018 semester. I also participated in a career fair at Seton Hall where I met so many great students who were interested in media and marketing. Some even extended an invitation to me to speak at their organizations events.
I was amazed at what 2017 brought me but somehow it still brought me disappointment.
EXPECTATION took my joy, EXPECTATION took my happiness, EXPECTATION took my sanity, and EXPECTATION took my love.
I expected so much to happen for me in 2017 and when it didn't, I broke down. When I went back and read my 2016 post on what I learned that year, I took away so much and one thing in particular was "being still." God showed me that when I do nothing, that's when the doors open. When I stop expecting and stop worrying that's when I get what God has planned.
His plans are always better than mine and everything I received in 2017 was far more than what I anticipated. For 2018 I am living by the words "NO MORE EXPECTATION" I will truly be living for me and no one else. When it comes to my travel, my career, and my personal growth it will fall in my hands and God's. I am excited for what the new year will bring and more than anything I am excited about the peace it will bring. EXPECTING will really burn a hole in your heart. I'm learning to live and learning to let go. Whatever is meant to happen will happen no matter what we do.
Cheers to 2018 being LIT and carefree!
This is a very delayed post but definitely needed.
Over the course of the last few months I have experienced people's true "energy" and even my own. What energy are we talking about exactly? We won't get too technical but think about it as someone's aura or the way they perceive something. Some people have negative energy and some have positive energy. When someone has negative energy everything they perceive will either start or end with sarcasm or a complaint. If someone has positive energy they usually see the good in everything. If something goes wrong they are the first to make you feel better about it.
The people you surround yourself with will not always have positive energy, because we are human beings and not perfect. The key is understanding the different shifts. You will usually have at least one friend who will be negative in every situation and not even realize they are being negative. For myself, I am overall a very positive position. I do have negative moments where I am sarcastic and complain BUT I always have good intentions. Your friends should know your intentions and understand your personality enough to know when you are deliberately being negative or if you are trying to help. There is a difference, but overall take responsibility for your negative moments and apologize for them. Pouring negativity into situation will only make it worse.
Taking ownership for your energy is so important. Sometimes we lose focus in life and get wrapped up in work, and the negativity surrounding us that we forget about the spirit of love and uplifting others. Try to release your negative thoughts and emotions before entering a chaotic situation. I for one can relate that unorganization drives me crazy. It's so easy to enter a crumbling situation with negativity and name everything going wrong and how it could be better. I had to learn to be understanding of others first before inserting my energy into the situation. Just because I like doing things a certain way doesn't mean everyone else agrees or operates that way.
Learning to work with different energy types and merging into one space is so important. It starts with taking ownership for your own energy and not blaming others for whatever space you are in at that moment. Take a moment to reset and adjust, and then enter the situation with love.